The greater the stress

Yesterday was the first day to cut out a lot of the distraction caused by my phone. No video. No podcasts and no Instagram. Those, I would say, are my three most used platforms and something I go to most for distraction. I’ve had this weird feeling though. Yesterday I noticed it a lot.

I would feel for my phone in my pocket or I would feel my brain trigger my hand to grab my phone. I was able to resist it, but it was there. I could feel it.

Strange and unexpected. I expected I would feel something but not as strong as it was. It’s like reaching for a pack of cigarettes after smoking for ten years. The addiction might be equally as strong, but little less physical. I’ve gone through it before. The withdrawal so far is easier with a cell phone than the other. But we’ll see how it is over time.

The difference is smoking can be cut out entirely, but the cell phone hangs around you. You have to have it for communication. At least that’s how I feel at this point.

The cell phone is necessary.

I might look back on this and say. Wow. You’re so silly. You don’t need a cell phone. But I do. In this moment right now, I do.

One strange thing I noticed. When I was working I was focused and it was fairly easy to not use the phone or search for some distraction. But something strange happened at the end of the day. I started to get rushed. I needed to get drawings out before leaving on vacation. I started to run over in time. I was behind schedule and started to get stressed.

I reached for my phone several times. Instantly. The search for a distraction from the stress was super real. And strong. It was strong.

I kept going for it even though it was a time when I needed even deeper focus. More laser attention to getting things done.

Instead I searched for distraction. Something to take me away from the pain of working hard. Gosh the pull to that phone is strong.

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